• Barbara Blanco

Good Communication at Home: Assertiveness

Updated: Jan 26, 2019

Communication is an essential building block of a strong relationship.


There is nothing wrong with having problems between family members, but we need to make sure we address it in a positive way. To deal with these situations we need an open and honest style of communication. Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is the capacity to handle problems by using welcoming and empathic tools. It is through assertiveness that people are able to resolve any kind of issue that may arise.

Assertiveness means respecting yourself and other people. If you are assertive, you will be able to express your thoughts and emotions in an appropriate way, doing so for others at the same time. Those who use an assertive style of communication always find a calm and positive approach to addressing problems. To have effective communication, here are five ways to be more assertive...


Take a problem-solving approach to conflict

Try to work towards solutions to move forward. This involves cooperation, as everyone should work together to resolve the dispute.

Take a few deep breaths

Stay calm and be patient. Maintain eye contact and speak in a quiet voice. Your tone of voice and non-verbal language can make the difference.

Listen actively

Do not interrupt when other people are explaining their opinion to you. Give them time to say what they need. You can repeat what the other person has said to avoid misunderstandings like 'So you are saying...is this correct?' 'So, If I am understanding your point of view...'

Use 'I messages'

You can express your feelings and thoughts without judging or blaming others.

'I feel...' 'I think...' 'From my point of view...'

Be aware of your thoughts

Thoughts are not facts. Remember you only see part of the situation. Welcome other's opinions and needs.

It is the way we act every day that makes the difference. Small steps lead to significant changes.

I am happy to have the chance to share these steps with you. They help me a lot in my personal and professional life...

  • Use conflict as a tool to grow. Life is full of meaningful moments. Each experience is an opportunity to learn.

  • Listen and pay attention carefully.

  • Always be clear and honest.

  • Sometimes you just need to let things go... We can't change how people think or behave. It is out of our control.

  • Talk to members of your family frequently and try to spend more time together.

  • Make the gratitude your attitude.

Assertiveness is all about being present. It's a skill that takes time and practice. Start today!